Just Throw Me in A Pine Box and Bury Me in the Backyard

MSNBC.com highlighted an article at the top of their main page today. Within moments of reading it, I was overcome with laughter. Now before I reveal the article, some background about me is in order.

Long before I got ordained as a Buddhist nun, I was content with living a simple life-- earning a reasonable amount of money, driving a small car from my small house to my small office, and letting nature take its course as it pertained to hair color, skin tone and the physical results of living in the earth's gravitational field.

I'm just not a fancy girl. So once I became ordained and had to leave behind the world of fashion, it was a pretty short goodbye.

If you had asked me then about how I'd like to look when I die, I probably would've done the exact same thing as I would today : burst out laughing. I would not be able to resist making a face with my tongue hanging out and eyes rolled up-- a cartoon imitation of someone dropping dead. Of course, it would come with an "Aaaaaagh" sound effect, because I'm Greek, and Greeks like drama.

Apparently, I am becoming more of a minority as we speak. The MSNBC article describes how more and more people are asking for cosmetic surgery for their funeral. Here's the entire article, but let's enjoy some of it together.

"People used to say, just throw me in a pine box and bury me in the back yard," says Mark Duffey, president and CEO of Everest Funeral, a national funeral planning and concierge service. "But that’s all changing. Now people want to be remembered. A funeral is their last major event and they want to look good for it."

These recent cosmetic concerns come as no surprise to Dr. Anthony Youn, a Michigan-based plastic surgeon who’s practiced in Beverly Hills, Calif., and appeared on the television show "Dr. 90210."

“Society is unfortunately getting more and more vain as time goes on,” says Youn. “Fifty years ago, no one would have thought about how good they’re going to look when they die, but now that’s probably something the ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ talk about. If they die [My note : IF they die???!!], they want to look good in their casket. It’ll be one last time to show off their new outfit and their plumped lips.”

But here's the best part :
Oddly enough, some of those who’ve had work done in life may undergo one last procedure after death.

“I require that the mortuary remove any kind of silicone implant before the body is delivered here for cremation,” says Aida Bobadilla, manager of the Los Angeles Odd Fellows Cemetery and Crematorium. “Whether it’s in the breast or the calf or the bicep or the cheek or wherever. Silicone implants will explode. They’re like little bombs.”

“Our crematorium wants to know if the deceased has them,” says Vigliante. “And then we have to get permission from the family to have them removed. As boomers age [Me again : BOOMERS? At last the code word is revealed!], we’re going to be seeing more and more of this.”

Okay, if you're like me you're probably doubled over laughing at the thought of crematoriums all over America blowing sky high because someone was too vain to admit to having had cosmetic surgery.

So what should we-- a moral and responsible society-- do to protect ourselves? Collect pine boards and start digging?