Even Buddha died. His death was a teaching to shock the naive, the indolent, and the complacent, to wake us up to the truth that everything is impermanent and death an inescapable fact of life. As he was approaching death, Buddha said:
Of all footprints
That of the elephant is supreme.
Of all mindfulness meditations
That on death is supreme.
Like everyone else, when I first heard such teachings as a new student, I thought it was pretty depressing. Like, if death is inevitable, then what's the point of dwelling on it? Why not just live my life to the fullest each day and when time runs out, I'll just pack up and go quietly? The hitch is, that unless we keep death in mind we don't live each day to its fullest. We can't squeeze the joy out of every happy moment unless we are constantly aware that those moments won't last.
Without keeping death in mind, we'll never work diligently enough to uproot our negativities. We'll continue to allow ourselves hatred, greed and ignorance, harming ourselves and others, thinking we can take care of that icky stuff sometime in the future.
Before moving to Maryland I purged my possessions of anything excess, anything that felt heavy to me. Among those things were journals I had kept from age 13 to 32. For the first time ever I read them all the way through. It was utterly shocking to see that through all those years--my teens, my twenties and my early thirties-- I struggled with the same exact habitual tendencies that I do now and was completely unaware of it. Because the journals spanned so many years, I couldn't dismiss any of it as just a phase. It was like watching a bird fly into a window again and again.
Those habits are deeply ingrained and many days I wonder if I can really uproot them all in one lifetime. My Lama says it's possible, as does an unbroken lineage of fully enlightened beings stretching all the way back to Buddha. So I dig in and get to work while I still have this life. Meanwhile, she waves her arms, jumps in the way, shouts to get my attention-- whatever it takes to keep this bird from hitting the window again.
Inevitable is only half the story. The full contemplation is that death is inevitable and unpredictable. You of all people should know that!
ReplyDeleteHuh-- I guess it's so much on my mind that I thought I conveyed both points. Like trying to describe my hand-- I'd probably forget to say "It's at the end of my arm."
ReplyDeleteAnd BTW I really like the new blog template!
ReplyDeleteI'm the most dangerous of respondants: I have just enough understanding of Eastern thought to think I understand it. Which I need to say when I agree with Sangye, above, about her effort to reveal her understanding of death. I thought this was a particularly effective piece, and she and I share the same rare form of vaculitis, Wegener's granulomatosis. That makes us both not only more conscious of death- WG is for life- but, from time to time, participants in stateas that proceed death. What is death: to me, in my Western understanding (sans any religious understanding, as I've come to respect Sangye and her understandings too much to post them on her blog!), death is coldness you can't shake. I've experienced that and came not to fear it but to respect it as a termination of suffering. Good doctors and healing brought me back, and I respect that life experience, too. Yes, knowing death makes life richer. We'll have to die to find out the answer to the other half of the question.
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