For Every Stupid There Is A Season

It's been a long time since I did something overtly stupid. I don't mean things that turn out to be stupid. I do those on a regular basis. I mean something that--given 10 seconds of thought ahead of time-- you'd never even think of doing. When I was about 5 I cut off most of the middle of one eyebrow. Like that.

Today I did something just as stupid.

I put artichoke leaves down the garbage disposal. Now that is just nuts. I know you can't do that. If you can't chew it you can't stick it down the disposal. I had a very quick inner conversation about it that went something like, "I wonder if I can put these down the disposal. Hmm, I don't remember doing it before, but I bet I can. The garbage disposal can take it. Here we go!"

And there they went. All at once, mind you. Because it was just that stupid. As it churned and gagged, I said out loud to the disposal, "Oh come on, you can take it!" I don't know why, but for some reason I turned into a high school football coach and started barking orders at the thing. When the water started backing up into the sink I knew that--despite my excellent coaching advice-- the disposal actually couldn't take it.

I spent the next 30 minutes jamming my hand in the drain and digging out artichoke fibers. I still don't know if I got it all out. Water isn't backing up any more but you know, it sounds a little funny. Incredibly, part of me wants to put something else down there to see if it's working.

Mostly, I'm wondering how many calories I expended with all that. Certainly I must have blown through the 50 or so calories I consumed by eating the crummy artichoke. That bathroom scale better have something good to say about it tomorrow or it might wind up in the disposal, too. The disposal can take it, I'm sure.