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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Note to Self: Read Note to Self

Every time I do this month-long series of treatments I go through the same exact pattern. After the first of four treatments I think, "Well this is awful but not as bad as I remember. Maybe I'm tolerating it better." Then it gets worse all week and the second treatment hits like a brick. Still I think, "Well, closer to what I remember but not as bad. I think my body is definitely tolerating it better." Then it gets worse all week and the third treatment is straight outta hell. That's when I think, "Oh man, this IS what I remember and I'm definitely NOT tolerating it better."

Though I'm curled up right now with intense nausea, pain, weakness and a pile of other side effects, I can still step back and find the humor in the whole thing. Not every second-- that would be neurotic-- but in an overall OMG-just-believe-your-stupid-notes kinda way.

2 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you still haven't achieved remission, and the Prednisone business still has you trapped in that particular and peculiar hell only those of us who've experienced it can relate to. Prayers of healing to you, Sangye.

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  2. Thanks! I've technically been in remission for some time but have tons of symptoms in between these horrible treatments. And because we need to limit my exposure to this drug, the Wegs dog wakes up for several months prior to the treatment. Not enough to land me in the hospital, but enough to make life miserable until I start another round of make-things-even-more-miserable rituximab. Ack!

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