Chain of Love

If there can be such a thing as a beginning, then this love story begins with my dear friend Aleia who lives in Flagstaff, Arizona. I met Aleia at a wholistic fair-- she’s a massage therapist and Reiki practitioner and I’m a chiropractor. We became fast friends and over the past 10 years or so have shared not only our own ups and downs but those of our loved ones, too. Throughout all these years, I have watched Aleia reach out in kindness to anyone who needs help, no matter what it takes.

Aleia and her husband Robert were best friends with Wayne Marinelli for a couple decades. Wayne was one of those guys you just love right away—big open smile, contagious laugh, kind and compassionate. In September 2003, samsara struck and Wayne was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. Aleia instantly became his primary caregiver and advocate, all the way through hospice. Wayne died at his home 13 months later, surrounded by these loving friends.

Wayne, who said he always lived as if he had Jesus on one shoulder and Buddha on the other, had planned his memorial service with his friends in mind. The week he died, I took my first set of vows allowing me to wear the Buddha’s robes. Aleia asked me to carry out one of Wayne’s wishes by offering mantra and Buddhist prayers at his ceremony. It was outdoors on a very windy day, and I was brand new to managing the voluminous robes. As I read my favorite passage from Shantideva, the wind threatened to embarrass me. I focused on Wayne’s wishes and threw all my energy into recitation and leading the guests in chanting Om Mani Pedme Hung up into the sky.

Aleia and Robert had known Wayne for some 20 years and grieved his loss deeply. Out of their pain grew Further Shores, a non-profit organization dedicated to providing pre-hospice support. Wayne’s beautiful mountain home became “Wayne’s House,” a place of retreat for this work.

By the time I got sick Further Shores was up and running. I was the beneficiary of their volunteers who came regularly to help me clean, cook, and cope. Two of them—Janine and Eliot—make me smile just thinking about them. Though they didn’t become a couple for many months, they were just such a natural pair of lovebirds. Two of the most gentle, calm and loving people I’d ever met—until I met Janine’s daughter Alana, who is all that in a child. Alana’s serenity was immediately apparent to my dogs, who are usually overly excited (read : annoying) when guests arrive. Alana walked in the first day and the dogs laid down on their sides as if a comforting patch of sun had appeared on the carpet. She played with my bird and didn’t jump the slightest when he gave her little nips. I’ve honestly never met a child like her.

Janine and Eliot married last year and a few days ago, this chain of love acquired another link : Sky Lewis Schipper was born at home on December 29. Janine described him to me today remarking how seldom he cries—seeming not the least bit disturbed by hunger, wet diapers and even a difficult blood draw his first day. Content. My joy for them all is beyond words.

So gentle Sky, welcome to the world. Your timing is perfect, little boy, because we sure need you. May you be strong and healthy, and may you, too, know the joy of serving others throughout all your days.