Fruit Headache

A story I read today on MSNBC.com got me reminiscing about Africa. Whenever I open the latch to that memory box, the overriding emotion I recall is a general sense of being confused. It was almost impossible to tease out the truth even in ordinary situations.

“When does the bus come?”
“It’s coming soon.”
“How soon?”
“Not long.”
“Do you know what time it’s coming?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know how long it will be?”
“It isn’t long.”
“Do I have time to go eat something first?”
“No, wait here. It’s coming.”
“Oh good, you see it coming?”
“Not yet.”
“I’m going to get something to eat. I won’t go far. Just call me when it’s coming.”
“Okay. It’s coming.”
“It’s coming now?”
“No. There is no bus today.”

Monty Python was big in the US right before I went to Africa. I often felt like John Cleese was going to step out from behind a palm tree at any moment.

So when I read the MSNBC.com headline and saw that it originated in Nigeria, I settled in for a tale : Bikers Strap on Fruit, Pots to Dodge Helmet Law

The story begins, “Police in Nigeria have arrested scores of motorcycle taxi riders with dried fruit shells, pots or pieces of rubber tire tied to their heads with string to avoid a new law requiring them to wear helmets.”

Apparently, the law is part safety measure and part money-maker for the traffic cops who thrive on bribes. And clearly the cops are in a huff about the fruit.

"We will not tolerate this,” said Yusuf Garba, commander of the Federal Road Safety Commission in the northern town of Kano. “We gave them enough time to purchase helmets. Six months ago the price of helmets was below 800 naira so complaints about non-availability and high prices are no excuse."

“The regulations have caused chaos around Africa's most populous nation, with motorcyclists complaining helmets are too expensive and some passengers refusing to wear them fearing they will catch skin disease or be put under a black magic spell.”

Okay, so expensive we understand.

Skin disease?
"The story is that people who have scabies, craw-craw, ringworm, dandruff and all other such diseases would easily infect others with them through the helmets," Steve Nwosu wrote in the Daily Sun.

I flashed back to countless memories of being squished into vehicles to the point of experiencing extreme pain and difficulty breathing as a routine part of travel throughout West Africa. I don’t recall anyone worrying about catching skin diseases at the time. I’m starting to get that confused feeling again.

Black magic spell?
“Newspapers quoted passengers as saying they feared the helmets could be laced with magic spells so as to knock the wearer unconscious and make them easier to rob.” Little gnawing pains creeping up the side of my head....

The whole thing reminds me of the part in The Poisonwood Bible, where no one in the Congolese village will allow the new missionary to baptize them in the river. He thinks it’s because he hasn’t succeeded at converting them and goes at it with full force. No one tells him it’s because when the last missionary did it everyone who was dunked in the river got eaten by crocodiles.

Maybe the Nigerian traffic cops know the real reasons or maybe they’re getting a smoke screen, too. As for me, I don’t know if the fruit helmets are a sign of poverty, widespread disease, fear run amok or just plain old defiance. Maybe it’s something else entirely. But here I am, 20 years later and thousands of miles away, and I still really want to be let in on the big secret.